I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
