My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize