I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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