My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
