I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize