you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
