i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
