So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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