this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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