well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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