quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
