i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
