So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
there is puke in my bra ... again
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
