Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize