Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
