Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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