im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
