you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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