Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
