is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
