Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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