my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
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What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize