Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
