Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize