my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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