It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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