I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
