he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
tell me about the fingering
Randomize