i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
