I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock