Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Where are you?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  In a non slutty way

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  (720): Where are you? (720): In a non slutty way http://tfl.nu/w6fm
  Replies (3) Good night (1249) Bad night (574)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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  (832): dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf http://tfl.nu/g2ft
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (1423)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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  (804): You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world. http://tfl.nu/i0as
  Replies (13) Good night (2531) Bad night (1033)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..

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  (304): she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously.. http://tfl.nu/exbf
  Replies (24) Good night (1552) Bad night (6768)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.

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  (832): So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket. http://tfl.nu/78sj
  Replies (27) Good night (2117) Bad night (3581)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.

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  (512): I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw. (1-512): Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid. http://tfl.nu/p25a
  Replies (16) Good night (4297) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3506) Bad night (1229)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP

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  (604): Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP http://tfl.nu/30gs
  Replies (6) Good night (3463) Bad night (939)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.

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  (505): I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle. http://tfl.nu/qs61
  Replies (6) Good night (1494) Bad night (621)
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  (818): View more from California

  My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

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  (818): My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place. http://tfl.nu/mphg
  Replies (10) Good night (1361) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.

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  (850): After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up. http://tfl.nu/jmm0
  Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

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  (757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

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  (425): So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height. http://tfl.nu/0pmh
  Replies (10) Good night (691) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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  (214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.

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  (816): Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/g2fz
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (247)

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