found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard