I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
