Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
