U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
