He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize