I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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