That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
