You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
