Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
