Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I understand Curling. That high.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
