Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Screwed.edu
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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