Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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