Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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