absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
