the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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