Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
