I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i need an iv and a liver transplant
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
