rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
