hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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