you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize