I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can I color on your dick again?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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