Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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