I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just googled if crying burns calories
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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