you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
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Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
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A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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