So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
