i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize