i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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